enough already

Finally the media, the criminal justice system, and popular culture have acknowledged that children are not "making it up," when they tell an adult that another adult sexually assaulted them. People are paying attention.  Although registering sex offenders usually focuses attention on a certain group of offenders and takes attention away from the more common offender.  Children are assaulted by someone they know and sometimes some one in their family.  It isn't the convicted felon down the street with the ugly yard, the drawn curtains, the huge sign in the yard.

This year, why not recognize that sexual assault and abuse happens when a person is forced into sexual activity?  And sexual assault happens to someone in this nation every 2 minutes.  Every two minutes, a person is sexually assaulted.  

Look at the math:

 

That means inappropriate touching, penetration or the labia, vagina, anus, or mouth by the perpetrator's fingers, penis, tongue or with an object.  So that means when a young woman walks down the hall at school and she is purposefully touched on her breast, between her legs, on her rear-end, she has been sexually assaulted.  It might mean that a couple is engaged in sexual activity, she says "stop" and he doesn't stop.  Sexual assault can be verbal, visual, or anything that forces a person to join in unwanted sexual contract or attention.  And it can happen in different situations and settings in a crowded hallway, a classroom, an isolated place, on a date, in the home, with a stranger or more likely with someone a person knows. 

For many, even those who gather statistics, rape is the focus.  But it isn't the only type of sexual assault.  But consider these statistics: 

1 out of every 6 American women have been the victims of an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime (14.8% completed rape; 2.8% attempted rape).

17.7 million American women have been victims of attempted or completed rape.

15% of sexual assault and rape victims are under age 12.

• 29% are age 12-17.
• 44% are under age 18.
• 80% are under age 30.
• 12-34 are the highest risk years.
• Girls ages 16-19 are 4 times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault.

7% of girls in grades 5-8 and 12% of girls in grades 9-12 said they had been sexually abused.

• 3% of boys grades 5-8 and 5% of boys in grades 9-12 said they had been sexually abused.

In 1995, local child protection service agencies identified 126,000 children who were victims of either substantiated or indicated sexual abuse.

• Of these, 75% were girls.
• Nearly 30% of child victims were between the age of 4 and 7.

93% of juvenile sexual assault victims know their attacker.

• 34.2% of attackers were family members.
• 58.7% were acquaintances.
• Only 7% of the perpetrators were strangers to the victim.

Those persons who are convicted of sexual assault in a court of law have to register with a sex offender data base.  But what about those who don't get to court.  What would happen if a woman was touched in that school hallway, dropped her books on the floor and screamed, "Don't touch me!"  What if she slapped him?  Would that be assault and battery?  Perhaps but she acted in self-defense.  What if women learned to use self defense and not live like victims?

Child molesters get the public loathing they deserve.  But those who commit sexual assault who are classmates or peers are dismissed as "just being kids."  Women who are victimized by sexual violence are dismissed as being hysterical, over-reactors, some how seeking sexual contact--a.k.a. "asking for it."  

In comedy films, sexual assault is depicted as felonious frat boys being regular guys when in fact they are voyeurs and child molesters.  Count the sexual assaults in Animal House.  Looking in windows, at women under bleachers, sexual intercourse with a 13 year old.  How is this entertainment?

In the workplace, when comments are made, women must have the courage to say, "that is verbal sexual assault," or "that is harassment," or "please, don't subject me to those comments."  Write it down in front of the perp.  Tell their supervisor.  Go above them if they don't care.  And warn other women who must deal with this dangerous person.  Unfortunately the situation may be such that you must continue to work there, work around them, but you don't have to absorb the violence alone.

This year, we should say, enough. Sexual assault should get the public attention that child molestation has recently received.