METHUEN, Mass.— A
Massachusetts woman who recently separated from her husband and had her
hours cut at work says an image of Jesus Christ she sees on her iron
has reassured her that “life is going to be good.”
And to think we let people who see Jesus in the build-up on their irons actually iron without supervision.
My uncle once told me, when I was about eight years old, that he burned his stomach when he was ironing his shirt. I asked him why he didn't take his shirt off when he was ironing it. He said he really shouldn't iron when he wasn't wearing anything and I asked him how did he burn his stomach when he was ironing his shirt if wasn't wearing the shirt when he ironed it?
Both of these stories are about the same thing, two people having a conversation when they don't understand what the other person is trying to communicate.
She hopes her story will inspire people over the holidays. To do what? Iron? Buy each other irons? To leave their spouses? To ask for a cut in hours? To get their names in the paper?
I don't understand what she means that 'life is going to be good." When will we get to the good part? When the story runs in the paper and her run away husband, who may have left because the house was messy with small electrics out in the open and an improperly stored ironing board in the college age but still at home sponging off her parents daughters' room, the husband sees the error of his ways and returns home to domestic bliss and no more ring around the collar? May be he really wasn't leaving for good, but merely a weekend and didn't need to take the iron with him? Why would a man leave his home and not take the iron? May be life will get better when the daughters remember to turn off the iron and not leave a hot iron unattended? May be life got better when the Eagle-Tribune printed this story. Perhaps life gets better when she markets the Iconic Iron© with the Holy Water/Steam chamber and Jesus image to remind you that life is better when you iron, unplug, and put away such domestic things. Perhaps she shouldn't keep the Iconic Iron© in the closet but on an alter in the front yard and charge people to see it. Or she can have a commercial where she screams at people at all hours of the night like the recently departed Billy Mayes about the bliss that is ironing. Billy and Jesus both have beards. But will she take advantage of this business plan/marketing opportunity and strike when the iron is--er--hot.
That doesn't look like Jesus on the iron to me. What is He "listening" to? When did He start listening--before he was emblazoned on the iron or after? Why isn't He ironing? What has He got against laundries and dry cleaners? And I wonder how life is going to be good for a woman who first, noticed an iron when she walked into her daughter's room. At this moment, I can't tell you where my iron is, but it sure as hell isn't out where I can see it. It isn't in my room. Did Mom run out of the daughters' room and alert the media that Jesus had appeared to her on her iron? Why the iron and not the bathroom mirror, or the toaster oven, or the refrigerator? (Our cat loves it when the ice falls out of the ice maker in our refrigerator's freezer. She goes wild and puts her paws all over the door and meows really loud. She hangs out around the refrigerator--listening for falling ice.) Second, if people are doing their own ironing, life isn't ever good. Third, if your husband has left you and your hours have been cut at work, you have no time to publicize your domestic disorder. You should be noticing other things like perhaps you didn't marry well and you need a better job. May be you can take in ironing. If you buy a new iron you can have two people ironing. That is practically a business plan.
The Lord, who works, as you know in mysterious ways, and has not had His hours cut has indeed provided her an opportunity. An opportunity to be famous, get your name and iron in the paper, have a prime time reality show called Housework!, perhaps crash a White House State Dinner, and get someone else to do the laundry and ironing. And He doesn't like starch in His toga.